The rumor is; intimacy after 40 is either boring or nonexistent. That’s simply not the case. You can make intimacy AH-Mazing after 40!!
I think the overall belief is that you’re going to have the best sex of your life when you’re in your 20’s and 30’s. Then, in your 40’s and 50’s your intimate life will come to a screeching halt!! Don’t believe the hype.
The truth is when you’re over 40 you’re more mature. You know what you want. And, you’re not afraid to ask for it!!
But, intimacy is more than sex. Intimacy is being close to a person with whom you’ve built a great connection. Someone you can talk to and confide in. They love all of you.
Real intimacy comes from looking into someone’s eyes and knowing you can trust them with your soul. When you have that someone in your life, intimacy is more than just what happens in the bedroom.
Having said that, even when you have that person, intimacy (sex) can occasionally take a back seat. It can be put on the back burner because well…… “life happens”. Life gets so busy with jobs, kids, etc., that you both are just too tired to give more of yourselves to anything or anyone else. Even your partner.
They say (no, I don’t know who “they” is) “when your intimate life is good it’s 20% of your marriage when it’s bad, it’s 80%”.
Here are a few ways you can make intimacy AH-Mazing after 40
Talk. Speak up. Use your voice.
Tell your partner what you want. Do you want more time alone together (like a night out)? Do you want more time in the bedroom? Do you simply want some quiet time with your spouse? Sometimes all I want is a little face to face time with my husband with no distractions. Not necessarily in the bedroom. It could be as simple as a walk in the neighborhood while we hold hands. Remember, even that one-on-one time can lead to great bedroom time. But, it has to start somewhere. So, call your spouse, text him, or leave him a love note, but make your requests known.
Spice things up.
If it’s time in the bedroom you’re looking for, find a way to spice it up. As long as you both agree and it’s just the two of you, try something new. Use your imagination, but make sure you’re both on the same page.
Change your surroundings.
Go away for the night or even a weekend. Rent a hotel room or just “make use” of another room in the house. New surroundings with none of the usual distractions (aka kids) can be just the boost you both need.
Read a book together.
You could, of course, get a “spicy” book, but what I really mean is sitting next to each other and reading a novel. There have been several times my husband and I have gone to the bookstore and picked up a mystery or a book on growing our marriage. When our daughter goes to bed we snuggle up and one of us reads to the other. We enjoy just sitting next to each other. My husband will say that reading some of these books has made all the difference in our marriage.
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Making intimacy AH-Mazing after 40 (or even 50) doesn’t have to be difficult. It just takes the two of you connecting and making it a focus.
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