Being a mom is hard and I think it’s time to give other moms a break. We need to give each other some grace.
We have all been in the grocery store and witnessed mothers getting angry at their kids.
When you see a child in pure meltdown mode over not getting candy or a toy, do you ever you look at his or her mother and think she’s handling the situation badly?
I know I have.
There was a time when I would have looked at kids having fits in public and thought, “She really needs to get that under control!”
In years past, I’ve seen moms getting mad at their kids and thought to myself “those poor kids!”
Then, I had a child. A girl!!! A girl who wants her way and is now a Tween.
The other day we were heading into our Sunday church service and I saw a mother giving her son “the talk” before they went into the sanctuary. If you have kids, you’re probably familiar with “the talk”. The one that goes “you will behave and you will not be disruptive”.
When she was done talking to her son, and he walked away, I made eye contact with her, smiled, walked over to her and said: “We have NEVER had THAT talk before church”. She laughed. We immediately struck up a conversation.
At that moment, (since she already knew someone overheard her) she needed to know she wasn’t alone and I wasn’t judging her. She needed to know that most of us have either been there, are still there, or paved the way for the ones who come after us!!!
I think it’s so important to give other mothers a break. We all need a little grace when it comes to motherhood.
Yes, there are some moms that have made some very bad choices, but for the most part, we are all figuring this whole thing out as we go.
And, let’s face it, parenting is different than it was 20, 30, 40 years ago. It’s much harder.
I’m sure our mother’s said that to our grandmothers, but honestly, I think it’s truer today than it ever has been.
It’s not enough for us to worry about their safety or hanging around with “bad kids”. Now we have to worry about tv, social media, the internet, video games, phones, etc. There are so many things to think and worry about and every mom has a belief system that’s slightly different than her neighbor, her friends, or even her own sister.
We all want to do our best for our children. But my best looks different than another mother’s best.
That’s where grace comes in.
There have been times when I know that if anyone was within earshot of certain conversations I’ve had with my daughter they would have thought I was the meanest mom on the planet.
Let me give you an example. Recently we were in a restroom at the doctor’s office and while I was in a stall my daughter stood just outside of the stall by the sink. She said to me, “I know I’m not allowed to use the bathroom right?” My reply was a stern, “NO, you are NOT using the restroom!”
If anyone overheard that exchange, they probably thought “Wow, she’s being so mean to that poor girl!”
What they would not have known is that we were visiting her pediatrician for the second time in two weeks. The week before I brought my
stubborn, wonderful daughter in for her middle school physical and she REFUSED to give a urine sample because she was embarrassed!! Are you kidding me?
After having a rather loud conversation in the bathroom with nurses just outside the door, we left the doctors office that day WITHOUT giving a sample. Now, we were back for round 2.
I love that girl more than my own life, but when she doesn’t want to do something, IT’S NOT HAPPENING. And no amount of bribing, pleading, scolding, or praying on my part will change her mind.
Anyone who was in the bathroom during this recent visit would not have known that.
My hope is if they heard us talking they gave me a break. I hope they gave me grace.
I hope if they overheard us, they realized they didn’t know the whole story and that I was doing the best I could at that moment.
Being a mom is hard work sometimes and my best looks different than the best of others. I need other moms to give me a break.
In the meantime, I promise to give grace to the other mothers around me. Because I’m sure I don’t know the whole story.
If you worry every day about doing the right thing, give yourself some grace and remember that you are a Great Mom!!