If she’s honest, every mom will admit she has had a day (at least once) when she feels like she failed as a mother. That’s a horrible feeling.
Not many things are worse than feeling like you’ve been entrusted with these little people and you’re completely messing it up.
My (most recent) event was just a few days ago. My beautiful 9 year old lost her mind. I don’t know how else to put it. She came completely unglued over something. Whatever it was, she was NOT happy.
She had an ugly fit, yelling, crying, screaming, slamming doors, you name it. This went on for what seemed like an eternity. I was proud of myself though. After all, I’d been praying for God to help me to be strong, self-controlled and slow to anger. I’d been praying for strength, patience and wisdom as a mother. I did very well. Daddy was at work. I was completely calm, cool and collected. Until – I wasn’t.
I blew my top. I didn’t cause any bodily harm or anything like that. But I yelled. A lot!! I was mad. I had just been screamed at for 15 minutes by this little person who’s butt I’ve wiped and who’s vomit I’ve cleaned off my bathroom floor. The nerve!! I stayed mad too. For several hours.
On those days when I feel like I failed as a mother, (after I beat myself up over my poor handling of the situation) there are 5 things I do to get me through it. They are pretty simple and you can do them too.
- Pray. Ask God to give you patience and wisdom. Ask God to help you give your child grace just as He gives you grace.
- Remind yourself that God wouldn’t have given you that child if he didn’t trust you. He knows you’re not perfect and wants to help you do this.
- Call a friend, call your mom, call your neighbor, call anyone who can “talk you off the ledge” and tell you they understand and they’ve been there too.
- Don’t lose sleep over it. Remind yourself YOU are in charge. You have their best interest in mind. They might not be happy with your decisions or your rules, but at the end of the day, while you struggle with what you should or should not have done, they are sleeping like babies and will wake up in the morning like nothing has happened.
- After the punishment has been handed out, hug your child. Show them grace.
Being a parent isn’t easy all the time. We think it should be. We think it will be sweet and blissful all the time and our kids will be grateful every day for every decision we make on their behalf. You will feel like you failed as a mother, you will not be alone. We’ve all been there.
When it’s all said and done I have to remind myself that of the two of us, my daughter doesn’t have the big picture in mind, I do. This day is only one piece of the larger puzzle.
Love and patience,
Please share this with another mother that needs to know that we’ve all been there.